I matter

Unconcious thoughts/beliefs can be a real bitch to get past because they are so ingrained that it isn't even a thought anymore. It's a pattern.

I thought that my husband's happiness was more important than mine. Heck, somewhere inside I believe that everyone else's happiness is more important than mine. But trying to make my husband happy really took it out of me.

Toward the end of my marriage - about 6 months before it was over and about two years after we should have separated, I told my husband that I loved him, but wasn't "in love" with him anymore. He had a lot of self-hatred going on. And it was difficult to live with, to say the least.

I asked him how he expected anyone else to love or like him if he didn't love or like himself. It's a question I should have asked myself. But I didn't.

Old thought: I am not as important as the ones that I love.
New thought: I am just as important as those that I love. I need to make my happiness my top priority. I don't automatically go to the bottom of the list. If I am happy I'm more likely to bring joy to those I love, which can contribute to their happiness. But I can't make anyone happy but myself.


When I am happy, I see the happiness in others. When I am depressed, I notice that people's eyes look sad. When I am weary, I see the world as boring and unattractive. - Steve Chandle