Syncronicity

How often do you have negative thoughts about yourself during the day? I couldn't give you a number - but I can tell you I probably have at least 50 negative thoughts about myself for every one good one.

I feel like I'm in the middle of being born, but stuck in the birth canal. Even with the negative thoughts about myself, I think I generally expect the best outcome in any given situation. For instance when my son was born I thought the labor might be long, but I did not expect the complications that occured during and after he was born.

Right now I feel as if I am in the middle of a re-birth and I'm eager and ready for it. But darn it. Again I did not expect all of the complications to occur. And I feel as if I am somehow "failing" at this. As if this is an audition somehow and everyone is judging my performance. When the reality is - one, most people probably don't think about me all that much, and two, if they are I don't think they judge me as harshly as I judge myself.

I am a strong believer in syncronicity. And I've had a lot of people over several weeks tell me to not be so hard on myself. This isn't going to be easy. But here I go:

Old thought: I can't do anything right.
New thought: I'm doing the best I can in this moment at this time.

And, because I now can't get this song out of my head and to introduce you to one of the ugliest coats I've ever seen in my life: